Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Especially since you eat your own scoot!

We're living in a soap opera. Myself, a girl in a hospital gown, and a boy are visiting an empty bed inside the hospital. It is dark except for a single lamp on a table between two hospital cots that gives light to that hospital green color cloth that seems to cover almost everything in sight. When we got to the bed, we noticed that the extremely skinny old lady who is curled up in the fetal position, back towards us, looks completely dead. The girl with me looks forlorn and apprehensive as she moves her hand towards the lady for a poke. I put my hands on her shoulders before she makes it the whole way in order to stop her. "You don't need to see that" I say very quietly, as I steer her away, and towards the exit to this room which is more like a dark corridor lined with cots and curtains. She looks really, really dead.

We make it to the main corridor, which is brightly lit with yellow walls. There are a few doctors and nurses making their way through here, as well as some visitors standing abjectly. I approach a a nurse, who I know to be assigned to the dark hallway. "I think that stiff old lady is dead" I say bluntly. "No, she just doesn't like you people" the nurse replied. "Can you check on her anyways?". "I don't have to see her again until the morning" she said, slightly annoyed. Then she turned around and left us standing there.

The camera pans out to a small slab of rock floor, hurtling through space from the moon towards the ocean. On this strange meteor is a treasure chest, with a mans head on top of it. The head looks like Charlie Chaplin, complete with top hat. He hurtles into the ocean with his treasure chest. I jump in after him.

I plunge into the ocean and land on the sea floor. It is a dark and barren landscape made of rolling waves of gravel and sand. I look around for the treasure chest in hope of getting it for myself. I see the man head with it; he is carrying it with arms which have sprouted from his neck. I know he can breath in the water because the treasure chest has some sort of magic. I'm not sure how, but I seem to be able to breath as well. I don't question it, and follow after him as he disappears over a hill of sand.

It is hard to move down here. The water is salty and all my movements are resisted by the high pressure of the water above me. By the time I crest the hill, I have already lost him. I keep moving forward in a straight line; I'm not sure if I sense him in this direction, or if I actually know where he is headed. I pass by a single red coral on my left, like a leafless twiggy tree covered with pores. As I continue on there is a rock face to my right. I feel I am getting closer.

Eventually, there is a sandy alcove to the right, heading into the stone cliff. The mans head is sitting in front of it, and he still has the treasure chest. His familiar, an orange tabby cat, is here as well. I no longer feel the pressure of the water; it feels like I am above the surface, surrounded by an atmosphere of air. His cat communicates with me. I can not have the treasure. I think I am supposed to leave.

I turn around and start walking away from the cliff, and I come upon a steep hill, covered with old seaweed and an ancient crust. I can barely see what appears to be old steel bars underneath the crust; I start tearing at the gunk covering them and confirm my initial impression. I look behind me, towards the man's head with his cat, and yell "Hey, look what I found". I turn back towards the bars and am startled to see the face of an old woman peering at me from the darkness behind the corroded steel gate. Her skin is wrinkled and her grey hair is frizzy and unkempt. She has a crazy smile that shows rotten teeth, and intense eyes which stare intently at me. Her visage is completely motionless, and I feel uneasy being in her sight. I go to leave, and turn around to see a creature with purple and aquamarine skin and eye stalks, like a mix between a cat and a sea slug. It is the crazy lady's familiar. It lets me know that she has been locked up here for a very long time, and I get the impression that these two are not beings that I would like to have as friends.

I walk with the sea slug-cat, back to the alcove in the cliff. The man's head and the treasure chest are nowhere to be seen. I go around the corner of the alcove, out of sight of the crazy lady. The tabby cat is here as well, and it incites me to stomp on the sea slug-cat. I follow its instructions and kill the creature, but when I take a second glance, I see the tabby cat squashed dead on the ground and the sea slug-cat sitting happily. I realize that it must have used some sort of illusion to trick me into killing the man head's familiar. For some reason I don't retaliate, although I am upset about this. I just want to get away from this insanity; I turn away and leave the alcove.

As I emerge, the hidden undersea prison is in front of me, and I veer to the right. Now I notice that just beside it is a giant purple gorilla with rubbery skin, standing there motionless like a statue with two or three smaller but similar looking animals. I approach and stand before them, fixated. I sense the presence of someone else standing to the left of me. I begin chanting: "Oooga bundooba nooboo goombup...". It is like I am speaking in tongues; I know I am chanting the right thing, and can sense the approval of the person standing beside me. The gorillas have come to life, and is raising and lowering its arms along with my chant. Just beside the gorillas to the right, I now notice some anthropomorphic wolves standing as well. I'm not sure, but I think there are more animals standing in the line further to the right, but I do not look. Suddenly I wonder how I know this chant, and I lose confidence. The gorilla jumps up high and lands right in front of me and yells in a loud voice. I can barely make out the words, but there are subtitles which tell me what he is saying.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOO YOO THINK YOOR DOING???" he booms. I have bowed myself before him, almost unknowingly. " I...I don't know" I meekly reply. "I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOOR SAYING!!! FUCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOO DOOING???" he yells at me again. There are tribal drums booming from behind him. I reply again, as loudly as I can muster my voice, "I'm not sure!". "YOO ARE NOT THE DISCIPLE OF ANY OF ME TWELVE ANIMAL SPIRITS!!!". "I'm sorry, please forgive me!". "COME, YOO MUST PLAY SOCCER WITH US!", and suddenly the animal spirits have withdrawn from the vicinity, to prepare for the game I suppose. I am very frightened to play soccer with them.

I turn to the person who was standing next to me; he is a white man, clean shaven with short reddish brown hair, and is wearing some ceremonial robes. I feel as if I know this man very well. "You should prepare yourself." I reach into the side pocket of my cargo pants, and pull out two granola bars. I open one and eat half of it in one bite. "Will this be enough?" I ask him. He shakes his head slightly and sighs. "Just go" he says to me. I am gone. It seems like a commercial break has arrived.

I see a bright scene: an ice cream shop. A skinny middle aged man with a black moustache and a mullet is singing a song about this ice cream store in a sort of high pitched, gay sounding voice. I think I work here, although it's my first day. The song is very funny (sadly I don't remember all the words). There is a green headed duck working behind the glass counter where the ice cream is stored. The last lines of the song that the man sings are "If you keep putting your feathers in the whipped cream you just might lose your job, Especially since you eat your own scoot!" Although I have never heard that term before, I know that scoot is a slang term for feces. The duck looks embarrassed. The commercial ends, and the screen goes black.

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